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THE WEE, WEE MANNIE AND THE BIG, BIG COO
A Scotch Folk Tale
Once upon a time when all wee folks were big
folks and all big folks were wee folks, there was a
wee, wee Mannie and he had a BIG, BIG COO.
Out he went to milk her of a morning. But the
BIG, BIG COO kicked up her heels and would not
stand still.
“Hout! Look at that now,’* said the wee, wee
Mannie —
“What’s a wee, wee Mannie to do
Wi’ such a BIG, CONTRAIRY COO?”
So off he went to his mother at the house.
“Mither,” said he, “COO won’t stand still, and wee wee Mannie can’t milk BIG, BIG COO.”
“Hout!” says his mother. “Go tell BIG, BIG
COO she must stand still/ ‘
So off he went to the
BIG, BIG COO and said:
“BIG COO canna’ have her way, . She must stand still!
She must, I say!”
But the BIG, BIG COO kicked up her heels,
swished her tail, and would not stand still. So back
went the Mannie to the house and said: “Mither,
I’ve told BIG, BIG COO she must, but she will not,
and wee, wee Mannie can’t milk BIG, BIG COO.”
“Hout!” says his mother. “Go get a stout, stout
stick and shake it at BIG, BIG COO.”
So off he went and got a stout, stout stick. Then
he shook stout, stout stick at COO and said:
“BIG, BIG COO, ye must stand still,
Or my stout stick I’ll make ye feel.”
But the BIG, BIG COO kicked up her heels,
swished her tail, tossed her head, and would not
stand still. So back went the wee, wee Mannie to
the house and said: “Mither, I’ve told BIG, BIG
COO she must, Fve shaken stout, stout stick at
her, but she will not stand still, and wee, wee Mannie
can’t milk BIG, BIG COO.”
“Hout!’* says his mother. **Go to the Draper’s
and get ye a gown o’ silk, for to coax BIG, BIG COO.”
So off he went to the Draper’s and bought a
gown o’ silk. Then he spread out the gown o’ silk
before BIG, BIG COO and said
Hold still, my COO, my dearie,
And fill my bucket wi’ milk,
And if ye’ll not be contrairy,
I’ll gi’e ye a gown o’ silk.”
But the BIG, BIG COO kicked up her heels,
swished her tail, tossed her head, lowered her horns,
and would not stand still.
So back went the Mannie
to the house and said:
“Mither, I’ve told BIG,
BIG COO she must, I’ve
shaken stout, stout stick
at her, I’ve coaxed her wi’
a gown o’ silk, but she will
not stand still, and wee,
wee Mannie can’t milk
BIG, BIG COO.”
“Hout!” says his
mother. ‘Then go to
COO and soften her hard, hard heart. Tell her there’s a
sweet, sweet lady wi’ yellow hair by the roadside, and
she’s weary wi’ walkin’, and weepin’ for a sup o* milk.”
So off he went to COO and said:
‘There’s a lady by the roadside,
Wi’ long and golden hair;
She’s wearied out wi’ walkin’
And weeps a-sitting there.
‘”Twould make ye weep in buckets.
If ye were just to think
She’s weepin’, weepin’, weepin’.
For a drop o’ milk to drink.”
But the BIG, BIG COO wept no tears in buckets
for the lady by the roadside. She kicked up her
heels, swished her tail, tossed her head, lowered her
horns, bellowed out loudly, “Moo-oo, Moo-ooT* and
would not stand still. So back to the house went
the Mannie and said: “Mither, I’ve told BIG, BIG
COO she must, Tve shaken stout, stout stick at
her, Fve coaxed her wi’ a gown o’ silk, Fve tried to
make her soft o’ heart for the lady by the roadside,
but she will not stand still and wee, wee Mannie
can’t milk BIG, BIG COO.”
‘Well, then,” says his mother, “go to that COO
and tell her she MUST NOT stand still. Bid her
kick up her heels, swish her tail, toss her head,
lower her horns, and bellow out loudly, ‘Moo-oo,
Moo-oo!’ If she be such a contrairy beastie, she’ll
do what she thinks ye don’t want her to do.”
So off he went to BIG, BIG COO and said:
“Coo, ye darena’ stand there still!
Kick and rair — ’tis what I will!
Never dare to stand, I say,
I bid ye kick and rair all day!”
When she heard that, the BIG, BIG COO stood
still, still, still — heels, tail, head, horns, voice, all
still. Then the wee, wee Mannie milked the BIG,
BIG COO for the sweet, sweet lady with the yellow
hair, and the BIG, BIG COO never, never, never
acted like that again — till the next time !
—Adapted
THE PURPLE COW*
I never Saw a Purple Cow;
I never Hope to See one;
But I can Tell you. Anyhow,
Fd rather See than Be one.
— Gelett Burgess
